I wrote an article reframing forgiveness.  I wrote it because I’d been introduced to a new way of looking at forgiveness, and I thought it was important to share. Holding onto resentment is a big stress on the body which has a huge impact in terms of someone’s health or disease state. Instead of forgiveness implying acceptance or condoning ones' behavior, we can think of it this way:

I give for myself the permission to let go of this... move on from this...

It really isn't about the wrong-doer but your internal relationship and permission to free yourself from the shackles of the past. It's about taking responsibility for your own life, it's progress or its stagnation.

I have more to say, so I wrote this follow up article.

There is this incredible Hawaiian healing technique based entirely on this version of forgiveness.

It’s called HooPonoPono.

One of the contemporaries is a man named, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. He was assigned to a maximum security prison. He would go to work and focus solely on forgiving and loving himself. The theory here is everything in our external environment is a reflection of our internal climate. The story is remarkable, several of the inmates were successfully rehabilitated into society - a feat that is rarely met in the prison system.

I came across a version of this forgiveness prayer years ago, and over time it has evolved with my own flavour.

A forgiveness prayer:

Divine Creator: Mother, Father Son, Daughter in me,

If I, my family, relatives, or ancestors have done anything consciously or unconsciously, since the beginning of time until now, in thought word or deed, to offend you, your family relatives, or ancestors than we ask forgiveness.

And with this forgiveness comes a cleansing and removal of negative and old energy, memories, belief systems, and patterns. And with this cleansing comes a transmutation in to divine and pure love and light.

And so it is.

A simpler version is the following phrases (said in no particular order):

I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

These phrases are directed to the Divine (however you would like to call it), especially the Divine in you.

To your delightful life,
Dr. Tonia